WHEN YOU RAPED A MAN, WOMAN, BOY, OR GIRL, YOU’VE RAPED YOU

A Letter to All Abusers

Taken from my novel Unfolding Souls. This letter was closure for me. When your abuser’s don’t admit to the abuse, you must create closure. Writing your pain down on paper is closure if you leave it there on the paper. Today I am proud of all the women that are speaking out. Listeners and Readers please have patience with people who are speaking out, getting it out is a part of the healing process. They must get it out. We’ve Only Just Begun to speak out. Just imagine what would happen if all the men who have been abused in the workplace by men and women, speak out against their abuser. Men you need to heal also. Find the power to speak out and heal. We all can heal from pain together.

You are a man or woman who lacks dignity. You take away our
pride and joy with your abusive traditions.

I remember when my
dad passed away; the pain was different from when my mom passed away. My sisters and I lost our natural common sense, while carrying my dad’s wallet with the red rubber band around it everywhere.

We had to go over everything twice and constantly back track
on every decision. I felt like someone had hurt my feelings
beyond repair. I thought my heart would be forever broken.

At family reunions, dad would get on the microphone and say,
“If it wasn’t for the father, it wouldn’t have been no family.” Family is a man’s pride passed on to his family. Fatherhood is where we get our most prized possession, our pride and joy, our livelihood.

When he was alive, I found myself as a woman, through being his daughter. When he died, everything I believed about my life died too. I had to find myself over again. My dad taught me how to laugh, not how to cry.

I had to teach myself how to laugh again, but it was a different laugh. I had to teach myself how to smile again, but it was a different smile. As time went by, as I grieved, I learned that when he died he had become a larger part of my spirit.

He was still the apple of my eye. Today, along with the smile I taught myself; I wear and treasure a bigger smile, his smile.

My dad was a good man. I loved him more than life. He taught
me to respect him as a man. He taught me to respect that
all people are human beings and to treat them with human
kindness, until they give me reason not to.

He preached about forgiveness. My dad was a leader. He wasn’t perfect, no man is, but he took care of his family. What hurt so badly was, that once you have been taught what love is by two parents expressing how love works, feel and sound, love will never turn to hate.

I wasted my life trying to hate you. Today I can love a man faithfully because of dad and mom. Thank you mom, thank you dad.

Abuser’s, as family, we celebrate a good man’s courage. Man mean the world to us as the head of family; you are our father’s. That’s why Father’s Day exists. You are all the man we have in this world, to value and trust, created in the image of a higher immortal, God. You are God in human portion, given the authority to teach us
right from wrong. In case you didn’t know, a man’s position
here on earth is to teach his family to believe in a higher power and give us a solid backbone. A man’s job is to protect the family and keep it strong. You’re the welfare of men, women, boys, and girls.

Not just for your race, but for the human race. You make us complete. When you rape your seed or a woman God has given you to love, honor, and respect, you destroy that bond and yourself.

You leave your abused man, woman, boy, or girl nothing to live for. There’s no other man to look up to when there is no other
man quite like you. Our faith in having a relationship with men
is gone. All we wanted was to be strong like God made you. Now, we have nothing to believe in because of your weak display of sin. Your victims are lost from themselves, to be found by strangers to build us up or tear us down. I’ve had a good man. I’ve had the best lovers, and their love and money could not mend me because of abusers like you who hurt and offended me. Who’s going to pick up the pieces of our miserable lives?
We don’t have an identity. When we are lost from man, we are
lost from ourselves. No one knows who we really are. Why do you abuse over and over, then you leave your victims time and
time again to find them? Why do you destroy yourself and your
seed every day? You abandon your victims more and more.
Can’t you see that your life is a vicious circle? The mental and
physical abuse needs to stop, right now!

In spite of everything you have done uncivilized, you have been
living without shame in public light. At night, human emotions
haunt you because you’re human; you’re conscious of your
crimes when you’re alone, you can’t sleep from the headache,
heartache, and mental pain of guilt. It’s sad that some abusers
don’t have any regrets. You are a man and that’s supposed to
mean something, where is your pride?

Life is not a game. We look at you and see the form of a man.
You were created strong enough to carry the weight of the
world on your shoulders. Instead, you’ve been our downfall.

Everyone has their cross to bear and we bear yours and ours. I
blamed everyone and you’re the blame, my abuser. It was your hate that I felt and bared, not mine. I had to wear it and bear it. The sex drive was yours, not mine. I had to feed it and suffer the sick craving and the sick perverted arousal I felt, those spirits all came from you, my abusers.

The cravings you felt was misread. They were not a command for you to go out and rape, abuse, and kill your seed. If your spirit wasn’t corrupt, you would understand that your craving is a human emotion that comes from your true spirit (the person that you really are without the sickness) seeking to find the love that is in you. Created in the image of God and spirit you naturally crave peace; every man needs to possess his own peace. It’s the only way you can have peace of mind in this
world.

You can’t find peace of mind abusing your family and others.
We’re all a part of you. Finding God’s love within you motivates
a man’s true nature to grow and create peace in his mind and in
this world. A true man tries to save the world not destroy it,
pick up your pride; find your true man. I’ve heard abusive men say, ‘I’m not that bad. I know men that are worse’. Get help!
Rehabilitate your mind and you won’t compare yourself to the
worst of men.

There are born losers out there that are not trying to do any
better. Compare yourself to the best of men that’s always
working to become better. Be a winner! You can measure up to
men that don’t mentally or physically abuse. In a perfect
movie, the truth always comes out in the end, where the bad
guy gets punished. For me, though, there was no end, until now. The anger that has lived within me and me with it, is gone.

My abusers brought hate and pain into my peaceful world
when they brutally took my virginity and my innocence away.
I missed my sweet sixteen coming out party. I missed my
Snowball Dance and Prom, the excitement of being a teenage
girl. I’ve never been to Disney Land. Instead, you brought dark
clouds and left me out in the rain to die a slow death. I
thought I’d never be able to enjoy another sunny day. Now,
even when the sun doesn’t shine, my world does in every way.
So, the next time you throw the name bitch at me, it’s going to
backfire like a boomerang coming right back to you, I will
not wear it or bear it. That’s not my name or my character. You
don’t know me and you never have.

Some have apologized and I have forgiven them. The others will
take their lies to their graves. Go ahead and deny what you have
done; lie yourself straight to hell. You see, I will always have my
ups and my downs, except your hate, pain, sickness, and illness
doesn’t live here anymore.

My Butler🍷✔ My Expectations ✔✔

It was the early 90’s and I had left my abusive boyfriend behind. I hadn’t met my true love yet so I was seeking new adventures. Testing the waters flying high meeting positive people.

Making enough money to rent a two bedroom condominiumin in the bay, that I nicknamed The Condo-Fundo. Skylight in every room I was hollywood-stylin doing me.

I was trying to figure out how I could have a male roommate and keep it a platonic friendship. I wanted a Butler.

I was taking a writing class learning how to get in touch with my feelings. Enjoying my silly side giving people nicknames also.

This one guy in my class I named The Butler who set at the computer in front of me. Him and I set face to face doing our school work and laughing all day.

I called him The Butler because he brought my lunch everyday. Food he cooked plus he waited on me hand and foot. I thought to myself, I could get use to this.

We hit it off as classmates because he treated me like a Royal Queen. His food was delicious and he was funny enough to make the days go by faster. Other than having a good laugh with a classmate. I wasn’t interested in him sexually.

I had tapped into my power as a woman and learning more and more how to use it to have what I desired.

I wasn’t going to settle for less to get laid or eat good. I could throw down in the kitchen myself.

My preference was tall dark and handsome. He was tall and high-yellow. I wasn’t attracted to him and prayed to God, no more yellow pretty boy types with mental problems.

Of course I did have my fantasies of having a butler cook for me and serve only me. I hadn’t experienced having a man cook for me until him and I loved the attention he gave. I fantasized about him being my butler.

One cold day in the bay I arrived at shcool early and to my surprise he was brushing his theeth at the computer.

I didn’t set down, I went to the teacher and asked her was he for real? Really? What is going on with him? Tell me all his business.

She answered, oh yes, he’s homeless. I told him he could use our utilities and he’s been sleeping in his car for three days.

San Francisco bay was having unusually cold weather. I felt sorry for my classmate and happy for me. I couldn’t forget that I had a two bedroom condominium.

I wasn’t the type to bring home strangers. I asked him what happened and he answered, his cousin put him out because he wouldn’t indulge in her lifestyle.

One of those situations where he was trying to better himself and she was trying to take him down with her to loserville.

Before I knew it I had offered him my extra room. I offered him a room until he could find a place of his own. I said, I want to get you out of the cold before you freeze to death in your car.

I showed a charming smile, and my expectations for him filled my mind. I could imagine what was going through his mind. He was thinking him and I making love under one roof.

He answered, Yes! I would love to move in with you until I get on my feet, but, I don’t have money to pay you.

He started telling his sad luck story. How his cousin took his rent and then asked him to leave. I stopped him and answerd back, money is not important right now.

He asked, how can I ever repay you? I answered jokingly. Be my Butler. We laughed. He said, I like that idea. I will cook and clean for my room and board. When can i see the place?

The proposal came with rules. I added, I’ll give you six months to get on your feet. The rules are, stay away from my room and I’ll do my own washing. We both agreed to the terms and he moved inn.

I loved coming home to a clean house and a five course meal every day. He loved meeting up at school on school days; watching everyones reactions trying to figure out if we were a couple or not. Not! He told the teacher he was falling in love with me.

The Butler was great. He was professional and he deserved a room for his service. We became good friends.

I was full of myself with my on and off boyfriend. I couldn’t find true love in him traveling all the time. I was going to find true love in having a man serve me.

The Butler would go to work three nights a week come home in the morning and serve me a big breakfast, clean the house and relex until evening. Get up and prepare a five course meal. On school days he didn’t miss a beat.

We had good conversations at dinner. Keeping it real, I told him I had a bigshot boyfriend who traveled from country to country saling realastate.

After working for me for 3 months and no boyfriend showed up at my door. He didn’t believe my boyfriend existed and he made his move.

I never thought he was attracted to me because he had been married twice they were both Mexican women. So I felt safe around him knowing he was attracted to Mexican girls.

One day I got home and dinner was ready so I walked in spoke and set down to be served by The Butler. The conversation was personal. He was asking about my sex life and how active was I and with whom.

I changed the conversation quickly, I started telling him about a recent date I went on with a college guy.

Well, my girlfriend called me and asked if I would go on a blind date. A guy she was interested in had a roommate and she didn’t want to go alone.

I went on the date and my date was nice so I hung out. I told him that I enjoyed cooking but I had a Butler he laughed and said, you can cook for me.

We went to the store and bought all the ingredients for a Chinese meal. Shrimp chow mein, pork fried rice, sweet and sour pork, Shrimp egg rolls, Shrimp rangoon. Wine, marijuana and good conversation while he watched me cook.

We ate good, then he went to his room to get ready for a early class. I was in the kitchen cleaning laying out the food because I knew other students was arriving to hang out.

Five girls walked in the door and they was surprised and ready to eat the fine cuisine. They asked me what restaurant did we buy the food from. I told them that I cooked the food and they didn’t believe me.

I took my date a bottle of wine. I walked back into the kitchen and found them searching the trash cans and the cabinets for take-out boxes. Thinking that I hid the take-out boxes that the food came in.

I didn’t want to hang-out with idiot College girls that did’nt believe that I cooked the food. I went back to my blind dates room and got into his bed and went to sleep.

So, as I’m telling my Butler my story we finnished dinner. He was up cleaning the dishes and floors. I siad, excuse me and I ran into my bathroom.

When I walked out of the bathroom I stayed in my hallway and continued to tell the Butler about my recent date. Staying out of the way of the mop.

I said, my date finished his homework and got into bed behind me being a perfect gentleman and went to sleep. 2:30 a.m. in the morning my grilfriend knocked on his door and was ready to go.

I got up and placed my hand behind me to lift up and my hand went into what felt like a big pile of mashed potatoes. I asked The Butler, what was that? Did he have a wet dream? Had It been a while for him?

I could hear The Butler cleaning but he wasn’t answering me. I jumped up and ran into the living room and there stood my big shot boyfriend.

I was in shock, he was mad and in shock. The Butler was surprised and in shock that my boyfriend actually existed.

When I went into the bathroom my boyfriend knocked on the door and the butler answered and let him in. Allegedly he called out and told me that my boyfriend was there but I didn’t hear him over the bathroom fan.

I felt I had been set up by The Butler but first I had to deal with my man. When he found his voice. He asked me, why are you talking to another man asking him about sex you want him to f*** you don’t you? Over and over.

He was fighting mad looking at the butler and walking towards him. I took him by the hand I placed my other hand on his heart. I said, baby I dont want him calm down and breathe. Your my only lover.

I can’t look at you, I’m leaving, I need time to figure you out. Don’t call me I have nothing to say to you. Bye. He said to me and I let him leave.

He drove 46 miles to his house and called back to say I’m coming back and the butler better not be there or else I will hurt him.

I said, if you come back I’m not letting you in you need time and rest. He answered, then I’m coming through the Window.

Now it was time to deal with “The Butler” Did you set me up, why didn’t you knock on the bathroom door and tell me I had company?

He asked me, why did you use me to get your boyfriend back?

First I thought to myself another high-yellow man with mental problems. Then I answered, Are you crazy? I told you I had a man.

He said, what man leaves his woman for 3 months? I didn’t believe you had a man.

Ok, now you know. He’s on his way back and he said you better not be here. You have to leave only for tonight.

He asked, where do I suppose to go?

Sleep in your car at least you will live to see morning. I answered.

I’m not leaving my house. That’s my bed. I don’t care what he says. That’s my room. The Butler said.

This is my house, and I’m telling you to leave. Now! For your own good.
He left pouting like a baby and I felt bad for him.

My man returned and The Butler returned at 3:00 a.m. in the morning I heard The Butler sneaking into his room and closed the door.

I couldn’t keep them both, the next day I gave The Butler 3 weeks notice and he left that night. We were both movie freaks. He would come over from time to time to watch movies and cook together.

That incident happened to let me know I still had a lot of maturing to do. My man would never trust me again. I had to let him go also; I felt the same way The Butler did. What man leaves his woman for three months? Neither of the two men was my true love.

We need to experience different things when were young and find out our expectations in life or someone will come along and have you live up to their expectations of you.

Find out who you are, love youself. When true love comes you do things differently. You’re not selfish anymore, I, turns into we. Love unconditionnelly but keep living up to your expectations because that person is who you really are.

My readers can read about The Butler number two in my novel, Unfolding Souls amazon.com

Parenting | mtaggartwriter

Check-out Mtaggartwriter post: PARENTING. Hello Matt, thank you for speaking out as a faithful father and representing manhood as a parent. You truly are a thoughtful writer who writes from the heart of man. It’s So Beautiful to hear from men who are Hands-On and protecting your family. Teaching your children right from wrong, teaching values and principles, how to think and stay focused to take care of themself physically. We need more good men to speak out. I truly enjoyed reading this post.

https://mtaggartwriter.wordpress.com/2017/11/07/parenting/

Forgiving Your Abuser

Thanks for your beautiful testimony. Forgiveness comes from God. People who have been abused are lost in their pain and can’t think to forgive. Pain makes you forget there is a God. There is a total healing in God Ezekiel 36:26 says: And I will give you a new heart. God is giving out new hearts for the abused and broken hearted.

Shadows of Service

Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

I am a survivor of child abuse. My life got turned upside down when I was only thirteen years old. I went from being a pastor’s daughter, to an alcoholics daughter out move onof nowhere. I’ve seen things no child should ever have to witness. I’ve heard things no child’s ears should ever have to hear. I’ve been beaten. I’ve lived in fear. I’ve been without a place to call home. I’ve been emotionally and mentally abused. I’ve gone from loving a parent to hating a parent for years. I’ve gone from having open arms to having panic attacks when my abuser would come around. I’ve gone years…

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Goodbye, Yes-Man (I define a yes-man as a man that refuses to accept no for an answer)

Goodbye, Yes-Man
(I define a yes-man as a man that refuses to accept no for an
answer)

That night when he returned, I told him that I was
leaving. He asked me to marry him and I answered, “No,” and I
answered fast. He thought I was going to say yes. I am fed up
with yes. I had let this man turn me out on sex and drugs, who
knows what all I was smoking. He’s growing marijuana right
here in our bedroom. He had traveled all over the United States
doing ‘Lord knows what’. He thinks he got this little church girl
for as long as his heart desires, but he is wrong. Troy can’t fool
me. I know what love looks like. If I say I do, he will change for
the worst.
Troy found out he didn’t have control over me when I
answered, ‘no’ after he proposed marriage. That was the first
time I used the no word in our relationship. That’s the night I
found out that a yes-man existed. It’s going-down; better now
than later. A yes-man blackmails his way through life; he cannot
handle hearing the word ‘No’. A simple, two-letter word brings
out the beast in him and releases a totally insane person. He
thinks he’s being assertive, but don’t get it twisted, his
aggressive ways are over the top and exaggerated.
A yes-man will act the part of a good, down-home gentleman,
as long as you let him walk all over you, answering, “Yes, baby”
to his every command and jump when he says, jump. Don’t
even mention speaking, you haven’t anything to declare to a
yes-man. A yes-man uses his money to keep women in line. If he
can’t use his wallet to get her, she becomes a challenge and the
game of threats begins. If he can’t bribe her with things to
possess her, he’s intimidated. She’d better watch her back.
When he can’t use his cash to control her every move, he
declares war. He comes in all ages, colors, shapes, and sizes and
hangs in every social group and every class of men. His arrogant, high n’ mighty drama is self-centered. His interest
is himself and his forever-bossy traditions are endless; like
telling everyone what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, are
exhausting. He will never admit that he’s controlling. He’s a
proudly selfish and relentless man. When he does something for
you, trust me, you’re indebted to him. He will take your life, and
then his, if he loses you or anything else he believes he owns.
The bottom line is, you must live up to his expectations. If you
take him on, he won’t stop until he destroys you. I didn’t know
all these things about him, until I used the word NO.
Playing tit-for-tat wasn’t planned. I told him, his roommate
walked in on me when I didn’t have any clothes on. I was hurt
and it just came out.
“I don’t need to be here with two men wanting me,” I said.
It’s not that he refuses to listen to reason; he can’t hear logic.
He thinks I told him because I wanted to hurt him for going out.
For the first time, I saw his insecurities without the cool
disguise. I’m looking at humanity’s monster in the face, can’t
anyone tell me I created him by myself. Maybe, I did tell him to
hurt him; either way, let the truth be told. I didn’t lie! I wasn’t
wrong for telling him and I couldn’t have picked a better time;
he’s crazy! There isn’t any better time. I definitely learned that
playing tit-for-tat with my man, using another man to get his
attention, is dangerous.
I tried to get my point across. I had good reason for leaving
before all this came up. Plus, I wasn’t going to allow him to start
leaving me at home at night, too. No way. Not after Bay-Bay
expressed himself to me. For the first time, Troy thinks that he
sees the monster in me. He’s hallucinating. If I’ve got to fight, I
am ready to fight for my life. Let’s do this! I’ve had it up to here
with his messy nonsense. He beat my butt thoroughly, like he
was my biological father. I waited to hear him say, “I brought you into this world, and I’ll
take you out.” My heart had been broken before, but this time
was different. This is a First experience. I have never been hit by
someone that said they loved me. I didn’t know it was possible.
This was a penetrating, backstabbing pain; a deceitful and
numbing pain that broke through my body, slowly and
psychologically challenging. I was ready to fight. This beating
separates the woman from the girl. He’s an animal and he broke
the part of my heart no other man had touched; it belonged to
him only. I’ve been there trying to make it work and this is what
I got. now it’s all insults, assumptions, and
interrogating questions.
“Did you do someone at the mall today?
“Is it your baby’s daddy?”
“Are you doing my roommate when I’m at work?”
“What’s going on with us?”
“Why won’t you marry me?”
“You have never told me that you love me.”
All day, every day, he’s going insane.

I NEED YOU

Have you ever been told those 3 words with the actions to back them up? I was very young when I heard those words. I didn’t believe those words to be truth coming from young boys. Boys who didn’t know what they wanted or  needed. It’s funny to me now because there were actions to back those words up.

There were flowers, candy, dates, concerts, dinners, amusement parks, and picnics. I guess I should have been flattered that boys liked me and wanted to prove their love for me. Those boys didn’t know I had been hurt by boys. I didn’t believe someone could ever love me, I didn’t love me. I ignored boys.

As I got older I worked on myself. I called on God and He didn’t answer until He got good and ready. My life changed overnight. I never gave those painful years a second thought. Until years later I wrote my novel Unfolding Souls to help other abused people to heal themselves as I did with the help of God. Now I’m passing my pen.

After I found me, I was busy making money. Boys/men started treating me the way I deserved. I never told any boy/man who I liked or dated that I loved them. I was single and loving me. I knew who I was as a woman and how I wanted to be loved by a man.

I was into myself and my art&craft. I created greeting card collections that sold in 20 stores. I was selling my art on t-shirts. My poetry on posters. Making African Dolls. Selling my first book of poems the University of Berkeley California published and promoted in a commercial on TV. My art was hanging in the Public Museum and Library.

I was living my life and wasn’t looking for a man but the need to have one remained in my heart. I was too busy working and running from men who was claiming they wanted to invest in my work.

One day I walked into the Sports Shop that was printing my t-shirts and I saw the man who would some day become my man and husband. Remember the movie “Coach Carter” Samuel L Jackson played Coach Carter. My husband and I met at Coach Carter Sports Shop. San Francisco Bay Area of California.

My future husband was from Louisville Kentucky his eyes fell on me and he knew I was the woman he was going to marry. I heard him ask Coach Carter did I belong to him. The coach answered no. He asked Coach Carter to introduce us, I said, hello, pleased to meet you tall brother. Placed my hand in his and then took it back.

Coach Carter played pro ball overseas. Showing off all his dusty trophies. My future husband starts to brag about how he played basketball at Tennessee State College and got injured before he made it to the pros.

A sad story I didn’t have time to hear the ending. I said, I am not impressed with the conversation. I threw up one hand acting as if the dust from the trophies was choking me and they laughed. I grabbed my t-shirts and left out to sell them. Of course he followed me out and bought two t-shirts from me and offered to buy my lunch. I turned him down and drove off.

The next day I went back to pick up more t-shirts orders and he was there waiting on me. I didn’t think nothing of it because there were other guys coming in and out of the shop trying to catch up with me.

Coach Carter thought it was funny that he was making sales off the guys who were stalking me. My future husband asked me to lunch for the second time. I told him no-thank-you, I didn’t have time to eat. He asked, what if I have to leave out tonight I may never see you again? I answered, then you and I wasn’t meant to be.

He asked, can I at least have your number. I answered, yes and gave him my home number. I got home that night and my sister told me he had been calling. She said, she’s been talking on the phone with him for 2 hours.

She liked him and told me I needed to slow down and check this one guy out. I told her to tell him I’m tired I have a busy day tomorrow and I’m going to sleep, good night. He told her to ask me, what if he has to leave out tonight we would never get the chance to fall in love.

I answered, tell him if he has to leave tonight him and I wasn’t meant to be. The next morning he called bright and early and asked me to take off work and spend the day with him the date would be worth it. I’m not some California player trying to sleep with you.

My sister said please just sit down and talk with him and see what he has to offer. I know you are going to like where he’s coming from, he’s the real deal. We spent the day on a boat laid out talking and getting to know one another and his big beautiful hands never touched my body.

I liked everything about him. He was tall thick and handsome but most of all he was into me. We were laid up staring into each other’s eyes. I had his undivided attention. That night his job did called and he had to go back to Louisville Kentucky.

I let him kiss me one long kiss on the lips. As he drove off I ran into the middle of the street and stood there waving goodbye. He had my heart and I had his. Other guys had tried hard to get into my head but couldn’t.

My future husband came into my life at the right time. I was able to see his love for me because I was in love with me. I wasn’t in pain anymore so I was able to love him back because I loved myself. I wasn’t waiting for a man to make me happy. I had made myself happy.

We was a beautiful connection two people who was ready for ture-love and to share happiness. People who ask, how do you know when love is real. I tell them I saw myself in my husbands eyes. I saw him as my future.

I kept falling in love with him over and over the way he walked, the way he talked me to sleep. The way he touche’s me when he talks to me. The way his arms and legs wrapped around my body twice. He treated me like God created him to love me.

When it’s true love you never have to ask how does love feel. 20 years later it’s no different he wants to give me the world and that’s beautiful but I want to give myself the world. I want to retire him. You want a love that you know the ups and downs won’t break you. Take you down and destroy what you work so hard to build.

Both of you should feel you belong together. I knew when I married my husband I would forgive him for whatever storm blow our way. I fell in love with his strengths and I knew I would love him through his weaknesses and temptations.

I chose to live with his shortcomings. His Taurus the Bull personality fluctuations. I’v chosen to be here beside him when he needs me no matter what. I will swallow my woman pride for him and forgive him when he’s bad. That’s how much he has loved me. You weigh the pros and cons and if the good times outweigh the bad times you stay.

I chose For Better or For Worse unconditional love religiously. From the beginning I saw us as one person. I hurt him, I hurt myself. He hurt me, he hurt himself. Marriage is a love-hate situation fight to keep love strong because the bad times are coming.

When I’m loving him I’m loving me, there’s nothing like loving someone so deeply. When I hate him, I hate him deeply and he stays beside me until love returns. I can’t wait to love him deeply again. It’s the love that keeps you together. When you find love don’t let your pride get in the way of keeping your love together; communicate your feelings. My husband was the first man I ever told I NEED YOU.

Forgive Yourself

Dear cheater, I know it’s hard to forgive yourself after being forgiven by the loveone you hurt. You was forgiven and given a second chance to make things right grow up and correct your mistakes. Don’t carry the guilt any longer forgive yourself. While you’re learning how to love yourself and others. Give the person that you cheated on time to build trust in you and you both will fall in love with each other again. Only talk about your pain in couples therapy, not to each other. Dear victim, once you have forgiven your mate for hurting you, never bring up the pain of being cheated on again. Never keep a list of wrongs to throw it in the face of the one that hurt you. Never use it for ammunition in your relationship to win a fight between you. Forgiveness means you’re ready to move on in the relationship. When you choose to stay with a cheater find other ways to heal. Learn to trust yourself and your decisions you are going to be fine whether the relationship works out or not. We all have to learn to believe in ourselves whether we are alone or in a relationship. Blessings to you both as you move forward as a team, learn to put God first in everything you do. There isn’t any complete love in any relationship. Unconditional love is key. Love like you’ve never been hurt. 💋 💘

Don’t Continue to Pee On My Leg and Tell me that it’s RAINING. YOU CHEATED ON ME! 2009

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She came out and admitted to her husband which was your first cousin: you remember him? You were raised as brothers. Well baby, no one in the family believes you didn’t sleep with her/make-love-to her twice. Get real! I know you love me. You loved her first. You sowed your wild-oats. She married her husband to get to you. You both got what you wanted (eachother). You both are guilty. Her husband wanted Revenge and grieved himself to death by losing his fight with cancer. Not I, I gave it to God and forgave you. I am beautiful and healthy and full of life. For my readers who think I think I have all the answers. Everything I write: I write from experience. Do not let anyone dictate your life. Focus on you. You are beautiful. Real Talk.

The Crisis 💔 Text Line

Did you know that if you text 📲 741741 when you are feeling depressed😔 or suicidal, a crisis worker will text you back immediately to text with you? Many people, especially younger individuals, do not like talking on the phone and would be more comfortable texting. It’s a free service to ANYONE…teens, adults etc. living in the U.S.. It is run by The Crisis Text Line. You do not have to be suicidal, you can text if just depressed. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. This is anonymous and texting fees are waived.

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Oman McCullough Fuqua the author of Unfolding Souls. Check out my blog read about my Passing the Pen. PTP Campaign.

Life Is What We Make It

Live your best life.